You dirty, noisy dad and your sexy wife.....

Forget that  title. It's only role was so you'd start reading. If you have, you probably are exactly what it says; dirty, noisy and sexy so congratulations. You have a great image of yourself.

Now to the grave issues.
Isn't it weird that the easiest thing for house girls and washer women is one of the most difficult things for those possessing custody of the world's biggest population; 'minors'? Small talk and at a kid's level.

Most of us are too sophisticated to be playful Papa bear. Exclude me seeing as I skipped the being a parent part and became.... What's the word? A fun blogger.
So, I was saying that if making small talk with the kids is unbearable, then Shouting around the house with the kids is the unthinkable so don't begin to consider just sitting there on the balcony with your 10year old talking about Spongebob Square pants or Barbie. Don't even bring up watching those cartoons with them. Your big brain satisfices that you throwing the ball back to your son only because it fell your way as you walked to the car means you did something at their level. You ignore the ecstatic look in reply to the idea that Daddy kicked the ball back.....

Hey dad, Get off your useless high-horse. Go play some football ball in the compound; get sweaty and dirty and undignified for playing with your son in the lawn. Go skip with the little girl you big girl. The worst thing that will happen is you'll die from a 'heart burst of joy.' The possibilities for the Best thing that could happen are basically endless... A compliment from your 10year old son to his 40year old dad or very possibly a lesson in football will take you to heaven. Some high pitched screaming with the little girl or teenage daughter might lead to 'wow mom, you are sexy when you loosen up'. I am no parent but am guessing that that will rival hearing it from the man you're hopefully still in love with.

My advise is simple stop trying to be a teacher, become a friend on children's terms. Be their mate. Then, just maybe your 16 year old son will tell you about the girl he's interested in. Your teenage daughter will tell you about that crash....no, I meant the heart based version.
For now, just get close by setting an agenda that says not my will but yours be done. The way to achieving what you want your kids to become is very likely in figuring out their little insignificant holiday or just 'game' plans. Harmonise your plan for them with their plan for themselves. Then get dirty with them and dread washing your own clothing for a change.

I seem to be nursing the idea that 'your lessons at home should be caught rather that taught'. The problem with that theory is that it's only effective in the presence of a good informal relationship.

So, let's hear it for the Fathers who hug their sons young or old alike and tell them those stiff words. 'I love you'. Oh yes, and to the mum who'll go girly shopping with their daughter. Love is an indifferent feeling to whoever is giving it but it rewards the same giver with an overflow.
It's weird but do it so that when you visit that kid in school next year, you'll look at his or her report and see a 70% in maths and a 30% in English and be like; wow, you are a good mathematician,  you could be a great banker but when I come to you at the bank I'll be like hey, 'where is that man who speaks fake English.'
It's better than you, you're failing at your books what's wrong with you?

(c) Ojara Andrew C

Blood is Thicker than Water, Love is Thicker than Blood???

Things said are things thought. Most thoughts are things seen around us.  Beautiful words are simply day to day facts laid out with mastery and this introduction seems to have nothing to do with the topic…. Hahahaha!!!

So, I went to boarding primary school in Busoga here in Uganda and one day during the third year of my seventh year, I did something foreign to my character. I took possession of an item, a football  that did not belong to me just because I thought to myself, ‘the owner just finished Primary Seven and so he has no need for this ball, I mean he’s going home for ‘vacation.’’ Vacation is the school break for pupils transitioning from the Primary to Secondary school level in Uganda. Needless to say, I was spotted, hunted down by the owner who basically turned all his fury on me and decided he’d inflict vengeance for all the injustices he had suffered through primary school on me.

Alas! He had never been more wrong.

Realising that my punisher was going to lay it all on me, I took flight with whatever speed I could master with my assailant in pursuit. Every once in a while he’d catch up and kick my butt but I kept on running.  I just had to lose him and hide away.

As I ran, out of nowhere, my brother who was my assailants’ classmate showed up and flew at him with a crazy rage…… and both my fears, pains and troubles were taken away. Blood spoke louder than the wrong I had done. My assailant got a beating. I was safe. Water for all its justification had nothing on me.

I can tell you plenty of other stories from my childhood that shout blood is thicker than water but I am sure you have your own to tell so I won’t bore you. Neither should you bore me with yours. I am not doing a case study over here; just writing.

Part B

I have always wondered at this fact. That someone can be so in love they will lay down their lives for another. Am not talking about Jesus, yet. I could though. I have always wondered about the true feelings of girls when they leave their parent’s home and adopt those of their spouse. I shudder that even when it doesn’t go smoothly where they’ve gone, they more often than not stick it out. They give away their lives and seal it with a new name. I think it’s admirable but over and above, I know it’s an enigma that I still haven’t solved. Maybe a kind lady will make me understand.

I have thought about friends. It amazes me that friendships are such stable relationships. A friend once sent me the following sms. She said ‘good friends are like the morning. You can’t have them  all through your day but you’re sure they’ll be here when you wake up tomorrow.’ I have friends spread out and am sure so do you and the impressive thing is that neither time nor distance, nor absence of contact affects our bond. I don’t understand how that works. The weird thing is we always hit it off once we bump into each other. It is a thing of beauty. So much so the Bible or the Good Book for those who fear its name says, ‘there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.’

I have known families that live apart and only come together for a wedding and a burial. I have also known families that make excuses to meet each other. They have the duty to.

Friends will just show up and will not always give you a reason. When they are not in touch, they will think about you, even miss you. They do not have a duty to.

Human beings are complex and so is their behaviour so I won’t pretend that I’ve figured it out. Blood is thicker than water, love is thicker than blood???

(c) Ojara Andrew C 

When clean people bathe!

When clean people bathe, dirty water flows off them

And they call us dirty?

When the clean people wear their clothes,

they’ll soon stink and have a stain

and they call us dirty?

When the preacher man says we are fallen sinners

He goes hard and out of his way to paint pictures of how promiscuous we are

He talks about how the girls are literally moving ‘show girls’

He says the guys dress up like ‘gays’ in gaiety their pants sagging like they have let-lose in their pants

But when the preacher wears his clock, he glorifies himself in his look and hopes everyone will acknowledge the ‘man of God’ and give an offering. Wait! I thought church was God’s show? Why are you putting on a show? Is your change in tone of voice the manifestation of  your ‘anointing?’ Man of God, or man of the people?  You are a politician because you lead

When the politician wears his suit,

When he cleans up nice and writes a speech

The listener is converted at the voice of the speaker

He is a painter and his words are his ink and your brain is his canvas @TIbs knows about that….

He’ll make you believe that he is the savior but wait until the ‘savior’ steals ‘your salvation’ and offers you his wrath. He doesn’t know you, you don’t know him! He doesn’t know you ‘cause you didn’t know him But you thought you did when he laid his out bare you became the ‘girl’ he made his pleas to

When a man makes his aim a girl’s heart.

This time, it won’t matter that you’re the ‘beautiful Beyoncé’ and he’s the ‘not so beautiful’ Jay-Z

He’s going to melt you. Just like ice, melt you. Say all you want of girl power . This is what a man does when he wins a woman’s heart. You’ll think you brought him to his knees, Made him beg you with his whole….. Tore through his chest and stole his heart. But wait until that fateful day. When your name will lose its place because the name that matters will be taken.  When a man loves a woman and let’s her have power over him, He really becomes the RULER of her world…. Say no more of girl power

When girl power sets right in

Brain power’s got to give-

-give way ‘cause she plays to win. Her weapons, all displayed, His weapons all dismayed

The world is not a safe place when a woman rules your world

The world’s not a safe place when a woman rules your heart

Round and round she’ll make you go And Solomon won’t be wise enough. The wisest of all men will fall

When Lewinsky plays her cards, When a woman traps a man

When a woman loves a man

When a man loves a woman

When worth is made complete

When respect results in love

When love rules the world

When LOVE Is as PURE as GOD

When love’s as pure as God

When Love’s as pure as God

Then the world’s a safer place

When clean people bathe they won’t bathe to become clean

When preachers preach, they won’t preach in self elation

When politicians speak, they won’t paint a theme of falsehood

When a man loves a woman, when a woman loves a man

Love will be as pure as when the cleanest man goes to the loos......

(c) Ojara Andrew C

Can I have my balls back?

xoxo, can I have my balls back?
I had a moment of weakness,
I thought I saw a smile of content,
and yes she let me be witness,
forbidden fruit can be sweetness
but down your throat it's just regret
After the moment of weakness,
after I was converted to witness,
after I realised I had no balls to say no to her,
I asked myself, 'xoxo, can I have my balls back?'

xoxo, after the moment left me an investor 'who was only tempteedto test her'
She said she went to get tested,
she said she missed her cyclic appointments,
she said I had made her late,
She had somewhere she should be,
She said that now I should take her,
She said I better have ballsnto stand by her through this season
And all I could think was. 'S***t!'
I was scared S***tless so I asked myself, 'xoxo, do you have the balls?'

xoxo, the times that followed were hard,
I hope I love her for real.
Nine months later,
He came and I was glad that I came,
I finally knew 'God is GREAT'
I saw the smile on his face,
I saw the love on her face,
I heard my heart pound out of tune,
I knew I'd found happiness and I thought back nine months and wondered,
Why was I scared? I had the balls to keep him, and oh, she looked so perfect
so I asked myself,
xoxo Did I ever even lose my balls?